Lễ Tưởng niệm Phật Tử Luật Sư Nguyễn Tấn Sĩ
8pm, Thứ Ba 23-1-2018
- TT Trụ Trì niệm hương và nghi thức Tịch Điện cầu siêu.
- 7:10- Lễ Tưởng Luật Sư Nguyễn Tấn Sĩ
Chương Trình: MC: Tâm Từ
-Tóm lược tiểu sử anh Ngọc Quân (Luật Sư Nguyễn Tấn Hải).
- Lời phân ưu của TT Trụ Trì Tu Viện Quảng Đức (giới thiệu luôn TT Viện Chủ)
- Lời phân ưu và tri tán công đức của TT Viện Chủ TV Quảng Đức
(qua điện thoại viễn liên)
- Lời phân ưu của bạn hữu Lâm Hữu Lộc
- Cảm tưởng tri ân công đức của Chồng và Cha (Chị Sáu & ái nữ Nguyễn Sĩ Thụy Uyên)
- Lời phân ưu của Thầy Hạnh Phẩm, Cư Sĩ Nguyên Lượng, Cư Sĩ Steve Lowe, Cư Sĩ Thiện Phước
- Cảm Tạ của gia đình anh Luật Sư Nguyễn Tấn Sĩ (Em trai Nguyễn Vĩnh Lộc)
-Hồi hướng công đức
Memorial Services of Sir Si Tan Nguyen
8pm, Tuesday 23-1-2018
- 8.15pm: Commencing speaking (MC: Mr Tâm Từ)
- Brief biograply of Sir Si Tan Nguyen (Read by Lawyer Nguyen Tan Hai)
- Speech by Senior Venerable Thich Nguyen Tang (Abbot of Quang Duc Monastery)
- Speech by Senior Venerable Thich Tam Phuong (via telephone call from Vietnam)
- Speech by Sir Si Tan Nguyen’s friends (Lam Huu Loc…..)
- Speech by Family of Sir Si Tan Nguyen (Mrs Sau (Wife) and Daughter (Thuy Uyen)
- Speech by Sir Si Tan Nguyen’s friends (Venerable Thich Hanh Pham, Mr Nguyen Luong, Mr Steve Lowe, Mr Thien Phuoc)
- Thank you notices from Sir Si Tan Nguyen (by Mr Nguyen Vinh Loc)
- Transfer the merit and close.
- 10.pm (the end)
Firstly, my father would have been honoured by the presence and dedication of the Most Venerable Thich Huyen Ton and Senior Venerable Thay Nguyen Tang not just today, but in his final days with us. Their care and attention to ensure that my father carried into the next life with peace in his heart has been truly breathtaking and outstanding.
Secondly, never one to shy from a crowd, my father would have revelled in the mass of friends, family and community here tonight. Those who have come from all over the state, but those who have travelled from interstate. Not to mention those who took the time to visit him personally in his final month. The Nguyen Family had certainly made a name for ourselves as the party people in the Palliative Care Unit at Monash Medical.
From the time that my father asked me to deliver a eulogy for him, I read a lot of eulogies, cried many tears - trying to make sure I said the right things. It is not the first time that my father has put me on a stage, so it is not surprising that this is one of his last requests. Dad, I know that you would have liked me to freestyle it, but it is such an honour and a privilege to not only be your daughter, but to deliver my parting words, that I’m just not willing to stuff this up.
Since his passing, I have received endless condolences, for which I am so grateful. But more than anything, I am grateful for the reminder of who my father was. Common themes in these messages were, “your father was strong” “your father was kind and generous” “your father would be so proud of you and your sister and he will forever be part of who you are”. There is such truth in this that I wanted to share with you, the lessons that he imparted on me and the gentle reminder of who I had alongside me and alongside me still.
Love your mother
Unconditionally and eternally. He never gave me more explanation than this, but perhaps it is something that simply never needed it. I watched him adore his mother - devoted to her love and wellbeing. I listened to him remind me gently of all the dedication and unwavering love that my mother has for me, during times when I was being a - let’s go with difficult teenager. More than once he reminded me that we only have one mother, and she is precious.
Dress sharp - always be presentable
For my Dad, it was Shirt and slacks - no matter what the weather was. I wasted so much money trying to get him into flexible and breathable tees and polos to accomodate for the Melbourne summers, but no. Casual was not a dress code that registered to Dad - he embraced Too Hot for Clothes, but that was in the safety of his own home.
Dad always felt that your appearance was not a question of vanity, rather a value of respect. Dressing immaculately was not only in respect for yourself, but it respected the people who you were are around - showing them that you value them enough to take the time to prepare for their company.
Dress well, hold your head up high - make people reach to meet your gaze.
Always be prepared to take action
This will always be one of my favourite stories of Dad. There was an earth tremor in Melbourne in 2009. Registering only 4.6, it did no more than to rattle the house. But, not knowing what it was, Dad came racing out of his room, hastily pulling on some well-ironed slacks (see lesson #2) over his undershirt (again, lesson #2) and said “meet me out the front of the house in 5 minutes with your passports and all of your cash”. Once out the front of the house, handing over my passport and $57 in cash (much to my Dad’s confusion and disappointment), he shared his plan of survival, including exit routes, supplies and shelter.
Dad never wanted me to feel like I didn’t take action when I should have and when I could have.
Give back to your community
There is no question about it - Dad is a family man.
For as long as I can remember, Dad always had a sense of community about him. He was a boy from the village - a village that never left him.
I can forever remember Dad being on stage MCing a community function, or talking about ways that a community event could be bigger or grander. I think I first thought that Dad just liked being on stage - he liked to entertain. It took me time, it took me writing this eulogy to realise that it was more than that.
One of my earliest memories of Dad - my most vivid memories - were the Victoria Street - Lunar Festivals. Tens of thousands of people drawn to Victoria Street between Hoddle and Church to celebrate the lunar new year. The smell of BBQ meat and corn mixed in with the smell of fire crackers. The sounds of the lion dancing drums, laughter between vendors and squeals of delight as children ran between rides and attractions. I always thought that Dad organised this, because, well why not? They were an incredibly fun and delicious way to embrace the coming new year.
I realise now that Dad wanted every person to feel like they belonged in the Vietnamese Community - he wanted to give people the family, the love, the joy that came from a village. He wanted to take people home, when there was no other way to be home.
His sense of community also fuelled the drive in his career.
There is an article from 1989 - my father had graduated from Melbourne University as the first Vietnamese Law Graduate in Victoria. It introduces him as someone who “cuts an incongruous figure among the young students in casual garb… The slight figure in a sober blue suit, briefcase in hand looks more lecturer than student” (see lesson 2 above). The article goes on to explore why Dad was driven to the law: he is concerned that there are not enough Vietnamese speaking lawyers in the state - one in a Vietnamese community of 35,000 is not enough. The article concludes with a quote from Dad - I did this study for my community - not for myself.
Plan what you can - but be prepared to adapt
I tried so many times to tell the story that encapsulates this lesson - a story that would talk about his decision to flee a country. I wanted to be able to share his bravery in planning the escape for not just his family but the families of his wife’s siblings.
Things did not always go according to plan - I wanted to highlight the moment when a boat that he was towing, carrying two families was sinking and then became detached from his - and despite the risk of being caught by party officials or fellow countrymen who did not take well the the notion of fleeing, the small likelihood of actually finding his family, his commitment to bringing his family into a new life, he turned around.
With a flash flash-flash flash-flash flash the pre-determined code - he found his family among the reeds at the most southern tip of Vietnam. His bravery rewarded.
His bravery continued in facing a new culture, a new language, a new judicial system. In future years, his bravery in eating my cooking and letting me drive.
Dad could often be found behind a BBQ - there is no doubt that many people here have been the happy recipient of Dad’s BBQ - lamb and chicken were his speciality. This Christmas, he let me take the reins and it was nothing short of a disaster. The meat smelt beautiful - it had his marinade on it. But it was otherwise suitable for motorsport racing. It didn’t take Dad long to diagnose the problem - there wasn’t enough coal. It was less than a month ago that he turned to me and said “You need more fire. You can’t get anywhere with a slow burn. The fire is hot and you might want to turn it down or even put it out. But without fire, nothing changes.”
Now, all I can say is thank you. Thank you for your bravery, for your even mind. Thank you for your desire and determination for more - more for your family, your wife your child, your siblings. For your daughter that you had not yet met.
My father always loved the thought of leaving a legacy and while there are many ways that he has made an impact in this life, if I could perhaps share what I believe is his greatest legacy - fatherhood. To the fathers and fathers-to-be in attendance today, as a daughter to a remarkable man - please carry on his legacy - hold your children as my father held me, be the best that you can be in their lives, because you will shape the way that they view the world, the way they value themselves, the way that they overcome hardship and the way that they love.
Dad, I never wanted to see you go, but I realise now that you knew what you were doing. I see that you have not left me helpless in this world. You showed me and groomed me with strength, resilience and grit. You fought a mean fight, some say impossible fight - and I will never let anyone say that you didn’t win that fight. We were suppose to farewell you three and a half years ago. But you weren’t ready. You had just met a bald-headed granddaughter, who would go on to amaze you with her intellect, her humour and her cheek. But you fought on to meet, to hold and to become the favourite to a pint-sized pixie, whose smile filled your heart with so much joy.
And not just that - you’ve left me with two of the most incredible people in the world. A mother whose love knows no boundaries, although some boundaries would be welcome. A mother who is stronger and more resilient than people, even herself, give her credit for - Her strength over the last 4 years and in particular in your final weeks was equal parts moving, touching and admirable.
In addition to an unwavering mother, I have a sister whose devotion and dedication is unrivaled, who makes me laugh at the most inappropriate times and whose support has meant that I can face even the hardest times. I see you in my sister, who to me has always been the epitome of class, intellectual brilliance and compassion. You left me with a perfect role model in life, love and chip flavours.
Dad, I wrote this line in my eulogy before writing anything else. With all of my heart and soul, I love you. Thank you for your patience, your dedication, your fight. Thank you for staying with me, until I was ready to let you go.
Your daughter: Nguyen Si Thuy Uyen
Eulogy & Prayer for Nguyen Tan Si
My name is Nguyen Thien Bao and I am a member of the Quang Duc Congregation.
Most Venerable Sangha, family friends and colleagues of Nguyen Tan Si. On behalf of the congregation of Quang Duc Monastery, I wish to convey our sincerest commiserations on the passing of your beloved husband and much loved father, Nguyen Tan Si, whose Buddhist name is Minh Phuoc.
It always is a difficult path to travel as we come to terms with losing and saying goodbye to someone as so loved and respected as Anh Si. Only last year I lost my mother at aged 97. I believe I understand the sense of loss you must feel.
Anh Si and I were both born in 1949, though I was born the Buffalo (Suu) and he was born the Mouse (Ty).
Anh Si must have been a very smart mouse, to have been so successful in his life. He must also have been a compassionate mouse, who did so much for his community. And, he must also have been a very lucky mouse to have met you Chi Sau. But nothing means more to a doting mouse than their family, and few loved their family as much as Anh Si.
On behalf of Quang Duc Monastery, we want to celebrate his life and honour his achievements with you, his family and friends. Whilst we feel your sorrow, we want you to know that we are here for you, to help lighten your load as you make your way down this difficult path.
We pray that Minh Phuoc will be reborn in Sukhavati, Amitabha Buddha's Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss. May you be filled with faith and hope, even in the midst of inescapable grief. This is a prayer of your Masters and friends.
To this I would like to offer a personal prayer in the form of a poem -
For you Chi Sau, your family and friends.
From Steve Low, Buddhist name: Nguyên Thiện Bảo
Quang Duc Monastery
A Prayer for Family and Friends of a Departed Loved One
You can shed tears that he has gone;
Or you can smile because he has lived.
You can close your eyes
And pray that he will come back;
Or you can open your eyes
And see all the good things he has left behind.
Your heart can be empty,
Because you cannot see him;
Or your heart can be full,
Because of the love you’ve shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow
And live for yesterday;
Or you can be happy for tomorrow,
Because of yesterday.
You can remember him
And only that he has gone;
Or you can cherish his memory
And let it live on.